Fuck you toe.

Hello Toe,
I put you in hot and attractive shoes, put you in comfy socks, lay you on a nice sheet at night, put the best sneakers on you for self defense, clean you, paint you all pretty and eat enough so that every part of my body, even you, can function. 
AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? WITH PAIN.
I wish I wasn't so much of a pussy when it comes to stubbing my toe.

Seriously.

I EXPERIENCE THE SMALLEST AMOUNT OF PAIN and I am reduced to a cussing, squeaking, whimpering fool.
I shouted like
"Sonofafuckingbitchthathurtlikefuckingaduckshitbastardrage!"

Fuck this I’m becoming a caterpillar.

*There's no reason why I wrote this post.
Yeah I'm like the mother of random.
Anyway, I changed the layout, the blog name and the url.
Why?
Stalkers
Cause I hate attention. It makes me insecure. I feel people might see a side of me which I want to keep under the shadows, hidden.
also the idea of people who know me pretty well, reading the blog used to restrict my writing. Heavily. 

New beginnings always excite me. 
okaybyenow.
:D

Surrounded by..

Idiots.

Not even I can fake these levels of fail. 

Keeping reading..

#Xyz- hey ill b done wid work early 2day. wanna hangout in d evenin ???

me - Hey. Sorry for the late reply. I'm sick. will be staying in..

xyz- oh thats k. Hope ur feaaling better soon sweety. 

FEAALING.

FEAALING.

FEAALING.

Correct grammar, where art thou?

But I wasn't actually sick or anything. 

#So i go to Landmark. I love the smell of books :D

Girl at the bookstore - Can I help you ?

Me - Yes, thank you, well i'm searching for The Vampire Diaries books.

Girl - The Vampire what?

Me - Me: Diaries, it's about a girl in love with a vampire, but is not twilight..

Girl - Ohh. 

Well here. 

(hands out)

*The  Twilight Saga- New Moon*

WHY BITCH WHY

Topic jump# 

When that one annoying person keeps talking and talking about something you could care less about. Then you try and correct them, yet you’re so frustrated that you walk out on them. Then the dumb ass has the nerve to wonder WHY you walked out.

So stupid.

like how did you even make it this far in life oh my gosh.

I already hate clingly people (girls/boys) 

Stupid + clingly = fucking suicidal.

Now please excuse, I have to go and disembowel my brain. 

okaybyenow.
Oh and my new favorite blog this one. :D

Meanwhile..

Why don't people get it..

My brother and me btw. 

NotCreativeEnoughToThinkOfaTitle

I hate nothing more than wanting to say something and then forgetting what you wanted to say.
So I'll just sit in front of the screen, interrogating my brain for the information. 


Or. i'll just ramble. 
#1 - 
I was taking 3rd helping of ice cream. 
x - no no, you wouldn't want that. you know how many calories is that? 
me - you know how many fucks I give? 


Annoying when people watch what you're eating. Dude? My mouth, my food. 
#2 -
abc - "I can't watch Dexter. That guy is so ugly. How can you watch ugly people in the lead? 90210 is better"


wait. whaaaaat. Ugly? Dexter? not watching because he doesn't take of his shirt on the show? 
And 90210 IS BETTER?
Wtf. *facepalms*
#3 -
Blogs with Autoplays. 
What makes you think I want to hear your music?
At least let me choose to press play before you musically rape me.
#4 -
Jeans are so restricting. Not that I want to do splits. But I wouldn't mind being able to cross my legs and sit comfortably.
#5 - 
Being hungry in the middle of the night. 
Infinite trips to the kitchen. Each ends with a disappointment 
#6 -
Realizing 11:11 never works, never worked, will never work. 
#7 - 
A potentially fractured ankle.
while swimming. 
yay my life. 
#8 - 
Not having to set an alarm for 2 months. YAYYYIE!! This actually makes me happy. 
#9 -
Having to keep secrets from your best friend. And you're dying to get it out. 
#10 -
And dudeee! A Unicorn. Waaaaaaaant.

Happy Birthday, you wonder of a man!

Someone who has more admirers than almost anyone else in the world of sports and entertainment. The man, for whom the whole country comes to a standstill when he is at the crease, all in expectation. The man who carries around the expectations of a billion with the ease of spreading cheese on bread. The man who has a cricketing ethic like none other, an array of cricketing shots like none other, humility despite his greatness like none other, hunger for success like none other.


It has been the single most exhilarating visual delight of my life - to see this genius,wielding his willow.
38 years to the moment you came to the rescue of a nation who needed to witness a miracle, who needed inspiration.. and though you have reached Godly status in my country, I know you are human, and yet you are not. 


Every person who has watched you knows how you have managed the weight of expectations of a billion+ crazy fans for 20 years. 
You Sir, are legend. Happyyyy Birrthdaaayy!


Love, 
Over a billion people 

and Peachyyy.

Living a denial

I'm a frightened girl, in this big world
swaying along the tapered lane.
I make effigies on the clouds,
with inkless pens.

Singing to the air,
talking to someone who doesn't exist.
I pick up my paints,
go out again for a last try.

Not yet, they say
But I've waited long enough.
I walk back.
murmuring to the space, into the darkness.
Come and hold my fists steady,
rock me in your lap
while I sob into your shoulder.

Will you, please come and sing to me?


*Met Aisha, 19,recently.
Brilliant artist.
Not allowed to pursue, mothers 3 kids instead. 

Attempts

I've been trying to sleep since the last two hours now.

No position feels right. Can't breathe through nose, clogged, I reckon. I try gasping air like a fish out of water. Mouth parches in seconds. I switch on the fan, its too windy. I switch it off, its too stuffy.
Another wave of agony passes through. Few seconds of panic. Another sweep of nervousness, chills. Like needles pricking under my skin.
The restlessness seeps into my head now, feels like my cerebrum has swollen up. Cause its continuously ramming against my skull, trying to get out.
Migraine.

I try a new position. on-the-tummy position. No result. 
Foetus. fail.
Star fish. fail. 
And my fears, worries suddenly highlight in silence. Tearing my composure.
then I wonder if I care. And I realize, I do.

I shut my eyes, determined to sleep.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I hear,
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?"
My head = 90% song lyrics.

Fuck insomnia.

Love poems anyone? Read here.