Saturday, April 16, 2011

Attempts

I've been trying to sleep since the last two hours now.

No position feels right. Can't breathe through nose, clogged, I reckon. I try gasping air like a fish out of water. Mouth parches in seconds. I switch on the fan, its too windy. I switch it off, its too stuffy.
Another wave of agony passes through. Few seconds of panic. Another sweep of nervousness, chills. Like needles pricking under my skin.
The restlessness seeps into my head now, feels like my cerebrum has swollen up. Cause its continuously ramming against my skull, trying to get out.
Migraine.

I try a new position. on-the-tummy position. No result. 
Foetus. fail.
Star fish. fail. 
And my fears, worries suddenly highlight in silence. Tearing my composure.
then I wonder if I care. And I realize, I do.

I shut my eyes, determined to sleep.
Somewhere in the back of my head, I hear,
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?"
My head = 90% song lyrics.

Fuck insomnia.

Love poems anyone? Read here.

7 comments:

  1. Nice post. I used to have insomnia. Now I listen to the same youtube video on dark matter in space on my netbook, and it puts me to sleep. I also take some melatonin supplements. Without those two things Id probably never sleep

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  2. I'm on pills too.
    But this wasn't so frequent before :/

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  3. I know that feeling! But accepting insomnia and using it to your advantage is amazing! Now i finish off most of my work and i am able to use optimum amounts of the day whole day!

    For me, it's like a gift! :)

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  4. You likeeeeee it?
    But sleep is so blissful. I hate missing out on that.

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  5. Yes agreed but I am a workaholic, so I like finishing off all my college work and any other extra work i can get ! :D

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  6. Ohh,.. that's sad.. Migraine sux..
    I am a big time insomniac.. sleep once in 2 days.. pills suck.. Anyways I love nights, and days dont let me sleep.. so.. its kind of okay!
    Hope you feel better soon :)

    aJ

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  7. Yay another one like mee!
    Pills don't work man.

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