Monday, May 30, 2011

Take my final breath

Engulfed in a maelstrom;
you are the current that's dragging me down
into an empty cold place, my untimely demise,
but what a perfect death would it be
to die in your arms.
Now the pressure increases
and my ribs shatter, I feel the punctured lungs
and my breathing slows, 
I send one final brave glance, a silent protest.
Looking down at my watery grave,
accepting my final burial.
And I see you smile
as you watch me suffer and die.


  1. Makes me think of Leonardo Dicaprio,in the Titanic.

  2. And I see you smile
    as you watch me suffer and die.

    Loved it!

  3. dying to be reborn is how i interpret this so much so i feel ive been saved myself just by reading it. why not , arent we all born again each day? i mean after we awaken for those in the way up north :)

  4. Hamza - Oooh. Cause of the whole watery effect I reckon.
    Glad you're reading my rants! :)

    Red handed - Thank you :D

    rivercat - Yes, love the thought. We're reborn everyday, every morning. Probably that keeps us going :)

  5. I liked the feeling of cold that this gave and the atmosphere it

  6. Reminds me of my Death metal songs. Is it meant to be depressing, or is there a double meaning, as you wrote it?

  7. The feeling lioness - thank you :)
    Burzum - no not depressing, i think its more of accepting, whatever is happening.

  8. dying in the arms of the your love, the pain would be a pleasure..
    didn't know you write dark too, i thought you were the happy-go-lucky-girly type :P


  9. I am happy go lucky :P
    but its just easier to write sad stuff :D

  10. It was a mixture of the smiths and this girl I knew who wrote morbid poems. Memory refreshed. Thanks!